Stop The Mindfucking: The Difference Between Committing To Your Dream And Just Stringing It Along

commitment to your dreams

Love me into submission, and I will love you into conquering the world.-Your Dream

We’ve all had that one person. That one person that we thought was the person of our dreams, but we let them slip away. Why did we let them slip away? Because we were too afraid to commit.

We wanted a little more time to be single. We didn’t want to give up our flirtations with others. Or, we were just too plain scared. We were scared of how our life would change. Scared that things would be different.

And, so that person moved on.  That person found someone who would commit to them, that wasn’t too afraid to be in a relationship, that wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. They moved on from someone who only wanted to live on the edge of things and found someone who was willing to stand in the center of it all.

The same thing can happen to your dream. Your dream has been tapping you on the shoulder your entire life.  It’s tried everything to get your attention. It’s beckoned you in a soft whisper voice and a gentle caress that you could feel softening your mind. It’s played a tune that’s not just tugged at your heartstrings, but unraveled them one by one until all you could hear was your beating heart.

It’s chased you down those dark alleys when you tried running away. It’s come to you in those quick-hot-fuck-against-the-wall moments of your life. You know the ones. Where you knew it was now or never. It insisted upon your exploration. It knew you were the one it was meant to bond with. This was your moment, and then it was gone.  It tried to crack the shell of your closure, to make a believer out of you. It even begged you for your protection. All it wanted was to be released.

commit to your dreams

photo credit: kaniths via photopin cc

But you, my dear one, just can’t decide.  You’ve kept that dream strung along so tight that’s it about to break. So, I give you this warning. Your dream doesn’t accept halfheartedness. It requires ALL OF YOU. Are you numb? Have you lost all feeling in your soul? Your dream doesn’t accept compromise. It requires a full commitment, a total surrendering, and nothing less than all of you.

Gamble everything for love, if you are a true human being.
If not, leave this gathering.

Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.
You set out to find God,
but then you keep stopping for long periods
at mean-spirited roadhouses.
Don’t wait any longer…-Mevlana Rumi

If this seems like a high price to pay, let me remind you, there is always a price.  Your dream will take everything you’ve got (and then some).  But, once you move from dabbling with your dream into a full commitment, heaven and earth will move to assist you.  Your dream wants to be made real, and the entire Universe wants to show up for the party.  It all hinges on you.

Here’s how to commit to your dream:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”William Hutchison Murray

1.  You Must Give All Of Yourself To Your Dream

If you are only dedicating time to your dream when it’s convenient, you aren’t giving all of yourself. Yes, there will be a cost to giving all of yourself. I had a dream to write a book. In order to do so, I quit my job, sold everything I owned, and moved to a quiet Mexican town where the cost of living was low and where I knew there would be no distractions. Even though, I didn’t HAVE to be up at a certain time, I still set my alarm for 6 AM every morning. Everything I did, revolved around writing the book. Once DreamCatcher: The Magic Of Living Your Dream Life was finished, I didn’t just stop there. I realized I had a bigger dream. I went on to create three websites this past year, and my vision evolved to become Your Own Life.

Now, are you going to have to do something as drastic as I did to create your dream? You might, if you want to get it done. But, there are ways to still keep your day job and work on your dream. It may mean giving up other things, though. You may have to sleep less, or spend less time with your friends, or less time on Facebook to make it happen. You may have to cut down on your work hours and take less money. This guy launched twelve start-ups in twelve months. Guess what? He has the same amount of hours in a day that you do. He’s just learned how to use them wisely.

2. Tear Down The Walls

The thing that seems so overwhelming to people when it comes to committing to their dream are the steps it takes to get there. That’s the thing about dreams. They don’t just happen. It will take hard work to get there.

But, we often use excuses, and those excuses are the ball breakers of the dream world. “But, I’m in debt.” (Sell your crap. Get rid of your debt. Take a second job. Start small.)  Don’t use the excuse of thinking your dream isn’t practical, or that you don’t have the money. The question is can you afford not to follow your dream?  When we base our dream on current circumstances, we limit the vision of our entire life. Right now there all walls that are preventing you from following your dream. Your job is to figure out how to tear them down.

3. Learn To Say No

A mysterious thing happened when I started following my dream. A lot of people started asking for my time (for free).  They wanted me to help them using the skills I had. They wanted me to build their websites. They wanted my advice. I wanted to say yes because I love helping people. But I realized that while I was in the process of creating my dream, I needed to focus on doing just that. (Have you ever noticed how the minute you think about committing to someone in a relationship, your attractiveness level seems to go up? All of a sudden people are showing an interest in you that didn’t before.) It’s almost like the Universe likes to test us. Are you really going to see this dream through to the end? Decide now, and say no to anything else that isn’t related to making your dream come true.

4.  Get Rid Of Fear

The real reason we have so many excuses about why we can’t follow our dream is that we are scared to death. We let fear sweet talk us into believing that our relationship with our dream won’t work. (Fear hates competition!) So,once again, we decide to sit this one out. And, once again, we create more disconnect between ourselves and our dream. Ask yourself what you are really scared of. Ask yourself if that thing happens, then what will happen. And, if that happens, then what will happen. Then what? You will see that fear tries to seduce us into believing that it will keep us safe, but the only thing fear will do is act as a barrier to that which you want most.

5.  Find A Mentor

There are many people who have been exactly where you are today. Ready to take the next step, but not exactly sure how. Do you know people who are doing what you want to do or who have taken big risks to get where they are? Offer to take them to lunch and get their advice. Surround yourself with others who are making commitments to their dreams. Hire a coach to help give you the motivation it takes to follow your dream. There are plenty of people in this world following their dream. Shouldn’t you be one of them?  This is your moment. Do it now!

I want you to follow your dreams and find your life purpose, so I’m offering a free 15-minute Skype session to help you get started. Email Valen for your free session. (One per person)

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  1. i found this card in my Dad’s belongings and i’ve been carrying it around in my wallet; it can be this simple to acheive our dreams.
    “the difference between victory and defeat is not one of ability but of action. the magic gift is nothing more mysterious than doing what you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do it.” work hard-maintain focus-never give up.

  2. A superbly written article which totally nails it. I love that you walk your talk, you are such an inspiration and destined for great success. Hope to dance with you along the path with you.

  3. Nice article, succinct, strong, wise, inspiring and motivating. What a magical journey you are on, pioneering the way for so many. Bless you amazing woman. Love galore… Devi <3

  4. Nice article Valen. I have confusion in choosing my career that is either to be a pilot or a Programmer, please give me some advice on it!

  5. The difference between “interested” and “committed” is like ham and eggs. The chicken is interested but the pig is committed.

  6. Great tips Valen!
    One thing I’ve always told myself and anyone I work with, is “You can’t fail if you never quit but you first have to decide what it is you ultimately want to achieve. Then choose a path and go after it with everything you’ve got”

    I think the problem many people face is they have a vision of what their dream life looks like, but have no idea what path to take to achieve it.

    They bounce around from thing to thing never really accomplishing anything.

    But the truth is, it doesn’t matter so much what path you take as long as you make a decision to stick to it until you reach your dreams!

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